


What to Say

by violaswimmer



Category: The Dragon Prince (Cartoon)
Genre: F/M, Family Fluff, Fluff, Friendship/Love, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-19
Updated: 2019-07-19
Packaged: 2020-07-08 21:38:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19876489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/violaswimmer/pseuds/violaswimmer
Summary: After getting past Sol Regem, Rayla finds her mind wandering to places she'd rather not think about. What she's lost, what she's gained, and what she almost said.(Post Season 2)





	What to Say

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! This was a great little project to work on with some of my hopes for season 3 which will hopefully come out soon!

The journey to Xadia wasn’t exactly going as planned. First, they had lost a member of their traveling group, Ezran,  _ then _ they nearly lost their feet to magma,  _ and then _ they were standing in front of Sol Regem. One assassin, one human and one baby dragon. For a brief moment, Rayla thought that Sol Regem may just attack Callum on site. He was a human after all and Xadians were more wary of humans than the other way around, in her opinion anyway. The scar of the dragon king’s death still very fresh in the minds of the Xadian people, along with the supposed loss of the dragon prince. Which as they all knew, was not so lost. 

By some miracle, they did not die immediately. There was a tense moment as Sol Regem flew towards them, his massive size overwhelming. He landed looking like he was about to kill them all, before pausing to inspect the small blue dragon in their arms. Rayla spoke after a moment.

“Sol Regem, I know there is some confusion to this situation. But during my journey into the human territories I found the egg of the dragon prince, with the help of this prince of Katolis. Meet Prince Callum and… Azymondias.” She said. Her voice shaking slightly.

One wrong move and Sol Regem could decide to kill her for bringing a human in Xadia, or he could decide to kill Callum, or he could decide to take Zym, then kill them. The ideas were racing as Sol Regem’s voice came to her mind, though his mouth did not move. A small gasp from Callum behind her signaled that he heard it too. 

“I see, this situation is most… unusual.” He said, inspecting Zym as Rayla gently placed him on the ground. He trotted closer to the large head of Sol Regem who regarded him with interest and awe. There was a moment where Zym seemed to speak, chirping, and Sol Regem gave him a nod before shifting his attention back to them.

“Azymondias speaks highly of you both.” He said, deep voice reverberating in Rayla’s body, she could feel the vibration in her chest. He turned his head slightly to Callum, “You must understand, human prince, that we are wary of your people. Azymondias may regard you as a friend, but human hands have done much to hurt our people.” He states, the pain in his voice clear. 

Callum took a moment to respond, Rayla could hear him gulping before he spoke.

“It is why human hands must return Zym to his mother. This is a gesture of peace, with hopefully many more to come, that may stop this war between our nations.” Callum said, to his credit he sounded very brave, though Rayla kept all her attention on Sol Regem, not sparing Callum a glance just in case. 

Sol Regem looked at him thoughtfully, “Those are kind though idealistic words for one so young, peace is not so easily won, but perhaps,” He looked at Zym who chirped, “Perhaps it can begin with this. Human prince of Katolis, may your journey through Xadia be swift for what you carry with you is much more than a single dragon. You carry hope for us all.” Sol Regem nodded at him, and Rayla saw Callum bow out of the corner of her eye. 

Sol Regem regarded her next, “Rayla of Xadia, the circumstances of your return are much different from your departure. I saw the red winged messenger, the king of Katolis slain and none of your party aside from you has returned. The dragon prince is alive, and so the life of Katolis’s prince remains untouched.” He paused, “I see you have unbound yourself.” He said.

Rayla instinctively touched her wrist, the thin bruise that was covered there, a reminder of the sensation of the tightening band. It was still very present even if it had been long removed. She looked down at the ground, as Zym chirped again, making his way back to Rayla and Callum. She could feel Callum regarding her as his picked up Zym, but she ignored his gaze as Sol Regem continued. 

“I see, so the prince unbound you from your pact. Rayla of Xadia, you are a proven warrior and protect the hope for our nation, though these deeds are great, I do not know the circumstances surrounding your previous mission. Once you step across this border, know that your people will want an explanation for what happened. Even saving the dragon prince may not spare you from punishment.” He said. 

Rayla took a breath in and looked at him again.

“Whatever punishment it is, I receive it gladly, the dragon prince was and is more important than my mission. But I understand that I must pay the price for my disobedience.” She said. 

Sol Regem nodded, “Spoken like a warrior.” He began to back away from their group.

“May your journey be swift. I will be vigilant in watching this border for those who may follow you.” He said before taking off towards his perch atop a nearby cliff. 

Rayla said a small thank you, that she was sure the dragon could hear before releasing a breath she didn’t know she was holding. She turned to Callum, holding Zym in his arms and she smiled. 

“Well, we didn’t die. So I count that as a win!” She said.

Callum still wore a concerned look on his face as Rayla began walking away.

“Woah, woah, woah, what was that all about? Punishment? What was he talking about?” Callum asked urgently, catching up to her as she walked further into Xadia. 

“Well,” She said, hesitating, not quite looking into Callum’s eyes as they walked, “I disobeyed orders while on my mission, 3 times to be exact. That’s a big no-no in the assassin order. Then I cut off my binding, well I didn’t, Zym did, but I was actively looking for a way to get it off so it was really on me. The circumstances changed but still…” She looked at Callum who expression was going from mild concern, to worry. She gave her best nonchalant shrug as she placed a hand on his shoulder, patting it. 

“Really, Callum, it’s  _ fine _ . I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.” She sighed, “For now, all that matters is getting the little one to his mother. Then we’ll return you to Katolis to help Ezran, and then I’ll go home to accept whatever punishment they have for me. Who knows, maybe it’ll end up being nothing for bringing the dragon prince home!” She finished cherrily, or at least as cherrily as she could manage. 

Callum looked at her as if she were crazy before he began to sputter.

“But that’s, that’s unfair! You should be a hero for finding the egg, and making sure it didn’t fly off a mountain while it was hatching, and protecting Zym and me and Ezran all this time! How can they punish you for doing the right thing?” He finished, looking at Zym in his arms.

Rayla looked at him, in all honesty she wondered too. But also knew that that was the life she signed up for when she became an assassin. There’s centuries of tradition and rules. Most made sense, and to a degree this made sense too. No matter the reason, no matter her deeds, punishment must be given. No one was excluded from that, even Runaan, if he were here. His face popped into her mind, and she pushed it away before she could dwell on it any longer. 

She shook her head, “Come on sad prince, let’s just keep moving. It’s early morning but we’ve been traveling nearly all night. We should find somewhere to sleep.” She continued to walk, trying not to think, because if she did, she knew that she might dwell on unpleasant thoughts. 

* * *

  
  


They decided on a spot just past the canyon that Sol Regem guarded, a little cave that was spacious enough for the three of them. They slept during part of the day, and decided to stay the night too before heading out again at a normal schedule. Well Callum slept away, so did Zym, Rayla not so much. 

She hadn’t really thought about anything the last two weeks, or really three weeks now. She hadn’t thought about Runaan or the punishment she knew she would receive. Or the fact that she would have to be even more on guard in Xadia. At least in Katolis, it was really only her who would have been in trouble. She could handle that because she could handle herself.  _ However _ , Rayla thought looking at Callum,  _ he’s another story _ . Callum could do magic again, which was great, but blowing some air and zapping some elves would cause a lot of problems. It was best if they simply went around all the towns and villages, but how long would they be able to avoid other people? Rayla had no clue. 

There was also the matter of the  _ thing _ . The thing she nearly said, not but a few hours ago when she thought Callum was about to die in her arms. But even as she thought about it she wasn’t sure what she was going to say to him. Or maybe she knew exactly. I care for you? I can’t have you leave me too? Or even I love you? That last option didn’t seem quite right, or at least not in the way two people would say those words to each other if they were not related. It wasn’t romantic between her and Callum, she supposed. 

She turned back to the cave entrance, watching the sun go down as Callum and Zym snoozed behind her. She should wake them, she thought, but her mind wandered back to the situation at hand. 

It’s not like she’s never thought about love before. Like any normal child she had crushes, felt the butterflies in her stomach and the nervous giddiness. But with Callum it wasn’t quite like that. With him she was, calm. He was like the forest to her, she could be herself, and he seemed to care about her. But she remembered the pain of him not trusting her back at the nexus, and before that too. But that was normal she thought, she was an elf, and they had only met a little less than a month ago. Trust and relearning old habits took time, and yet now, he seemed to trust her completely. But what would she had said, and why won’t she say it now?

_ I love you _ . She was going to say I love you. She knew that, but why did that scare her? 

Lost in her thoughts as she was, she didn’t hear Callum rustling behind her until his voice nearly made her jump into a crouch, her hand twitching for the blades on her back. 

“Couldn’t sleep?” He asked, once seeing her jump he continued, “Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to surprise you…” He left Zym by the dying fire, and went to sit next to her, looking at her.

“Are you alright? You’re a little jumpy.” He said, his green eyes looking at her with some concern.

She cleared her throat, “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. I just was lost in thought that’s all.” She said, looking more at the ground than at him. 

“Care to share?” He asked, shifting to make himself more comfortable on the hard earth of the cave. 

She smiled, glancing at him before she spoke. He watched the scenery, the sunset reflecting in his eyes, he still looked tired from his adventure with dark magic, but much better than he did a few hours ago. With that thought in mind, she said something she didn’t mean to. 

“I was thinking about how much you scared me earlier today.” She said quietly.

Her eyes hadn’t left his face, and he turned towards her quickly, obviously not expecting that response. She looked away, feeling a bit of warmth on her cheeks. She hadn’t meant to say that out loud. 

“What do you mean?” He asked quietly.

“Dark magic, dummy,” She said, folding in her knees, her arms wrapping around them and resting her head across her arms, “And it’s not just because I think it’s bad Callum. I mean it is bad, but. I thought… I might lose you. Especially right before you woke up. You were pale, and you were breathing like you were drowning. I’m glad Ezran wasn’t there for that part.” She said, closing her eyes for a moment, she continued, “I thought you were about to die.” she whispered, “And then I kept trying to get you to come back, but I don’t think you could hear me.” She said her eyes still closed. 

There was a pause, a brief silence filled by Zym’s soft snores and the crackle of the remaining fire. 

“I heard you.” Callum said softly.

She opened her eyes and looked at him, he looked at the scenery for a moment before he turned to her. 

“I heard you say,  _ stay with me _ . And then, I think you helped me find my mom…” He said trailing off.

“Your mother?” She asked, unraveling herself from her fetal position.

“Yeah,” he paused, “while I was forming the connection to the sky arcanum I was having a very weird dream. I was confronting an evil dark magic version of myself, my dad-” he hesitated and corrected, “the king was there too and then I was in the ocean, I became a boat sail for a bit and then I was thrown overboard. I was drowning, I think. Then I heard you say  _ stay with me _ , and then my mother’s voice telling me to breathe. She helped me understand the arcanum. I don’t know if I would have found her if I hadn’t heard you first.” He said sincerely, their eyes meeting.

Rayla didn’t speak for a second as Callum came closer to her, he put his arm around her and squeezed. 

“I’m sorry I scared you. Believe me when I say I’m  _ done _ with dark magic.” He said with a smile.

Rayla sniffled, a small tear escaping her eye, “You better be.” She said, she wiped the tears away with the heel of her hand, “I’ve had enough of losing people.” She said softly. 

Callum arm squeezed more firmly, “Me too.” He whispered. 

They stayed like that for a couple of moments until Zym trotted up, demanding the space between them. Rayla chuckled, her eyes were still watery as they parted and Callum laughed too, hefting Zym between the two of them. 

* * *

  
  


After their heart to heart, Rayla took a few minutes to be by herself by picking some fruit for dinner in the nearby area. She also took a few extra minutes to cry any tears that were left in her. She felt her eyes getting hot and puffy but hoped Callum or Zym didn’t notice, there wasn’t a need to worry them unnecessarily. It was just her getting over whatever it was that was going through her mind right now. Rayla knew she wasn’t the best with emotion, she would rather ignore any turmoil inside her mind for as long as possible to focus on the more practical things she should be doing. Like making sure they were safe, getting food, otherwise surviving this crazy journey they were on. 

But she also knew that that meant that once the floodgates opened, it took a bit to close them again. Like the pressure needed to be released before she could start acting normally again. So she took a few deep breaths and decided that maybe tonight while everyone was asleep, if she felt like she needed to, she’d walk off for awhile and cry, let it all out. She nodded to herself, that was probably a good idea. The sooner she could be back to herself, the safer they would be.

She gathered her fruit, a couple of moonberries and an abundance of sunfruit. She picked them carefully from the tree where they grew, as most of the branches had thorns, avoiding the worst of the prickles. She got a few cuts on her hands but no thorns hot stuck in her hand, so a win in her book. She brought back her bounty to the cave, as Callum relit the fire, adding more wood. Zym playing with Callum’s cube of primal sources in the back. 

Callum smiled as she approached, but a flicker of concern came across his face. Maybe her eyes were more puffy than she thought. Before he could say anything she spoke.

“Well not many moonberries, which makes sense, this is sunfire elf territory so I got us a lot of sunfruit.” She said, kneeling to release the fruits to the ground. 

They had an almost leathery skin on the outside that was a brilliant orange yellow color. The fruit itself was slightly bigger than her fist and she had about 8 of them, they would keep for a day or two while they travelled. Callum seemed to forget or chose to ignore whatever it was that he saw on Rayla’s face to inspect the fruit. 

“They’re oranges.” He said, looking them over. 

“No, their sunfruit, how can a fruit be a color?” She asked. 

Callum looked at her, “It’s, uh, both? We call these oranges in Katolis.” He said. 

Rayla took one and opened one of her blades, cutting the sunfruit into quarters swiftly and handing it to Callum. The inside was a bright red, and dripped with red juices. She did the same for Zym, who joined them.

Callum eyed it suspiciously.

She laughed, “It’s not going to kill you, it’s very sweet.” She said, taking a bite from her own sliced sunfruit. It was sweet and sour, it tasted citrusy with a hint of bright sun in her mouth. The magical essence of Xadia even in this fruit. 

Callum took a bite too, his eyes widening as he tasted it. 

“Woah, how does it tastes like, like-”

“Sunlight?” She finished for him.

“Yes! I can’t even describe it!” He said, and she laughed at his outburst.

“Well this is Xadia, and it’s called sunfruit for a reason. Even the fruit here has a magic essence.” She said.

“So the fruit, is… connected to an arcanum too?” He asked quizzically. 

She looked at him, deadpan. 

“Uh, no. That would be weird. It has magical essence to it, it isn’t connected to an arcanum exactly. More like, it reflects the magic around it. If the sun is a primal source then the fruit absorbs some of its power. That’s why you can taste it. Just like moonberries.” She said holding a moonberry up, “For the past couple of days we’ve been eating moonberries grown in Katolis, where there is very little magic. But taste them when they grow here in Xadia.” She said, tossing him a berry.

He ate it as well, his eyes widening again.

“Do you taste the moon?” Rayla asked.

“Yeah, somehow.” Callum said, swallowing. 

“That’s the difference between Xadia and the human kingdoms. When they say magic is everywhere, it is everywhere, but not in the most obvious of ways.” She said, having her own moonberry. 

“So you’re saying that I’m probably going to be tasting the primal sources in everything we eat here?” Callum asked excitedly.

Rayla shrugged, “Probably.”

“Awesome.” He whispered in awe, “But I do wish Ez was here, he would have loved this.” He said with a sad smile. 

“Yeah,” Rayla said, “But not to worry, I’m sure eventually I’ll be able to visit you both once this is all over. I’ll bring a whole basket of fruits with me!” She exclaimed. 

Callum grinned, “That sounds like a plan!” He laughed.

Rayla smiled, biting into another piece of the sunfruit, the juices slipping down her hand onto one of the fresh cuts. She hissed, trying to lick the juice away. Callum noticed.

“Why do you have cuts all over your hands?” He asked, scooting closer to her.

“Sunfruits grow on thorny trees, I’m just happy I didn’t get any thorns stuck.” She said, still trying to lick the juice away. 

“Here,” Callum said, putting his own fruit aside, looking through the camp pack near him and pulling out a cloth they used for keeping the stale bread. He gestured to hand the fruit over, which Rayla reluctantly did, and wrapped it in the cloth to absorb the juice, handing it back to her. 

“Good idea.” She said.

“Not done yet, hand.” He said, holding out his own hand. She paused, but gave her hand and watched as he gently took it, taking his waterskin and gently pouring some water over the cuts, using a different, cleaner cloth to wipe away the juice. It stung for a moment. Callum dabbed at the cuts, getting rid of the crust that was forming. 

“Thanks.” She said, using her other hand to eat the wrapped sunfruit. 

“Yeah, no problem.” He said, drying off her hand, he silently asked for the other hand as well and she gave it to him. He performed the same ritual as she ate. 

“You know, I don’t know exactly what’s going on with you. But I hope you know that if you want to talk about it, I’m here.” He said it quietly, as Zym climbed into her lap, having finished his own fruit. 

She paused, watching him dry her other hand. 

“I know, it’s just. I’m not sure what to say.” She replied, “I’m not very good at expressing myself.” She finished, taking another bite of her fruit. He released her hand and looked at her. His eyes were sincere, and she almost wanted to tell him everything. Almost. 

“Maybe, I’ll find some better words for it. It’s just, with everything going on I haven’t had any time to think about anything. Today was... hard, and it sort of made me think about everything else I’ve been trying  _ not _ to think about…” She said. 

“Like what?” He asked quietly. 

She paused for a moment, she wasn’t sure she really wanted to get into this. But Callum was so sincere, so concerned, his face an open book, that he disarmed her. The words spilled from her mouth, and she wasn’t even sure if she wanted to stop them. 

“Like Runaan.” She said. 

“Runaan?” He asked.

“Yeah, he was part of the group that came with me to Katolis.” She clarified. 

“Right, was he the one you were talking to on the roof before we left the castle, right?” He asked.

She nodded and watched as his expression turn sorrowful for a moment. She was so stupid.

“I’m sorry, this is insensitive of me. I shouldn’t have brought it up.” She said, looking at the ground.

Runaan was most likely the on who killed the king, Callum and Ezran’s father. How could she speak to Callum about the man who killed his father?

“No.” Callum said, squaring his shoulders, “You should talk about this, I don’t know this Runaan. But it would be too easy for me to think of him as the monster that killed my father.” Callum said. 

The word monster made her shiver, like when he called her that back at the winter lodge.

“But I know now that elves aren’t monsters. That my father thought it appropriate that Xadia retaliate for what we did to the dragon king. I don’t know if I could forgive Runaan for what he did, but I can at least try to understand who he was to you.” Callum said, “I can tell you care about him.” He finished.

Rayla looked at him for a moment, he seemed genuinely interested, the sorrow still present but not overwhelming in his expression. She nodded.

“Yeah, Runaan was like a father to me.” She said, “I told you about my parents right? They were part of the dragon guard, but being part of an elite force doesn’t exactly make you the best at raising a child. They had a few months with me before they handed me off to a family friend, Runaan. This was long before they ran from the duty.” She took a breath in, dwelling on her earliest memories of Runann. 

One particularly traumatic one where he tried to force her into a bath, but it still made her smile. She saw his face as he grimaced watching her as she kept slipping out of his arms. She could hear his voice in her mind,  _ you need to get over your aversion of water _ . He said simply, grabbing her in his grasp and unceremoniously throwing her into the bath. 

“I’m sorry.” Callum said, “I didn’t realize, and now I’m even more thankful for what you did that night. You were willing to fight your own father to keep the egg and us safe. If you hadn't, we would never have made it this far. Honestly we might have been killed that night if it wasn't for you.” He said.

Her fruit at this point was long forgotten, and Callum reached a hand over to her, taking her hand in his. He held it gently, not to disturb the cuts there. 

“It doesn’t matter so much now.” She said, “I just wished that things hadn’t ended the way they did. I’m sorry that at our last interaction he thought I had betrayed him and the team. He must have thought that I was just like my parents, when the moment counted... I ran away from my duty. Even if it was for good reason.” She said, shaking her head and continuing her tale. 

“My parents left me with Runaan because I had been chosen to become a moonshadow assassin when I was very young, which isn’t the most common occupation among my people.” She said.

“How do they know that, that you were going to be an assassin anway?” Callum asked. 

“It might be different among the other elves, but for my people, after your born they place you in this special pool on the full moon. When you’re a baby and connected to the moon, you react with a power you're most comfortable with. I turned invisible, which is what most moonshadow assassins do. Not everyone is connected to the moon in the same way. Like Lujanne, I can’t perform any illusions like her, or maybe I could with a lot of practice, but it isn’t my thing. But I’m fast, strong and silent. So assassin life for me.” She said with a shrug. 

“That’s why my parents left me with Runaan, he was already an assassin by that time so they left me to be raised and trained by him.” She said, “He is strict, but I never questioned whether or not he loved me. But still, it wasn’t enough for him to trust me in the end. I think that night, I learned that love doesn't always mean trust.” She sighed.

“I don’t know what happened to him, he’s either dead or being tortured for what he did. Plus he probably still has his binding, if he is alive, I can’t even imagine. And the others...” She shook her head, “I don’t know. They may be dead too. But I don’t know... even if I were lucky enough to see them again, what they would think of me.” She said. 

Callum squeezed her hand lightly. This moment between them was comfortable, the fire warm, Zym snuggled and purring in her lap, Callum’s hand in hers. She felt safe. 

“They should think that you did the right thing Rayla. They should be proud of you.” Callum said firmly. 

Those simple words seemed to break the dam a bit more. Without her permission, her eyes got watery again, and she felt the hot tears escape down her cheeks. Callum looked a little shocked as she began to cry and even Zym chirped sadly at her. 

“I’m sorry.” She said, her voice full of sorrow she didn’t even realize was present. She realized now, she was alone. Runaan, her father was gone. The people she knew she knew well, that she doomed when she let that guard go, they were gone. Who knew what they would think when she returned to her village. She lost everything. 

Callum released her hand as she scrubbed at her eyes, but only more tears fell. He closed the gap between them and hugged her tightly, his hands rubbing a soft circle in her back. She tucked her hands into his scarf, her arms around his neck.

“It’s okay, Rayla. Everything is okay. You’ve been through a lot. It’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with letting it all out, it’s okay.” He said quietly. 

Like a mantra, he spoke soft reassuring words as she cried and cried. Zym leaned himself against her side, and the pressure was reassuring. Eventually her sobs began to subside, but even still Callum held her for longer than necessary. It was nice and warm, she couldn't remember the last time she had been held like this. 

“I was going to tell you something before you woke up from your dark magic coma.” Rayla said into his scarf, her voice crackly from crying. 

“What were you going to say?” He asked, his hands still rubbing her back. 

“I was going to say, I love you.” She whispered.

The hands stopped, and Rayla felt instant regret from speaking those words out loud. But she continued quickly.

“Before you get any ideas, I don’t mean it in the way you think. I just, I love you and Ezran and Zym and I even love Bait. Maybe that’s a silly thing to say even though we haven’t known each other that long… but I know in my heart I do. I care about all of you so much. Which really scares me.” She paused, “People I’ve said that to in the past don’t usually stick around too long.” She whispered. 

They were still hugging, technically, or cuddling if that was the word. When his hands stayed still Rayla began to move back and get away. Maybe she really did say too much this time, maybe this was too fast. But as she began to move, Callum’s hands moved again crushing her into a hug so strong she struggled to breathe for a moment. 

“I love you too, Rayla.” He whispered into her hair, burying his face into her neck. The relief she felt was so palpable that she felt herself relax completely, squeezing him back just as hard. 

“And I promise,” He said, “I’m not going anywhere. Even when this is all over, I’ll be there. Erzan will be there. Zym will be there, even Bait will be there. We’ll all be there for you. I promise.” He finished. 

Rayla felt another tear escape her eye. 

“Okay.” She said, “Okay.”

* * *

Their I love you would stay that way for a long time. A meaning of affection, of caring for one another. And perhaps with time, the meaning of those words would shift. But for now, those three words were a promise. A promise to care. A promise to trust. A promise to stay.


End file.
